I'm Not Giving Up, I'm Just Giving it to God

Use less, love more, drive less, give more, worry less, praise more, pride less, spirit more. May we accept the gift into the world, and treat the world as if it's a gift.

A friend of mine posted this as his status a few days ago, and I have to point out the last sentence. (May we accept the gift into the world, and treat the world as if it's a gift.) Yes, the world is a gift. After all, we needed somewhere to live when God created us, so yes, it's a gift. We have to treat it as such. Handle it with care. Respect it. And as shitty as it is now, we still have to see the beauty in it.

Like a sunset.

Two friends with different religions. One Christian and one Muslim.

The perfect picture between a mother and her child.

A sleeping child.

A 21 year old who almost died twice after having a brain tumor removed. Walking proof that God does answer prayers!

Ok, so these photos are pictures of my world, but it's just as beautiful as the whole. I have been thinking a lot about life and love the past couple of weeks, and although things haven't worked out like I wanted them to in a certain area, I can't complain. 2011 has been VERY kind to me, so how can I ask for more? I can't. The photos above remind me to be thankful for what I have. To be kind and good. To show compassion. To offer to help someone and not expect anything in return. To be the best friend, daughter, mother I can be.

I've noticed a change in myself recently. A certain air of confidence in knowing I can be perfectly content in life, and how to leave it all up to God.

In His name I pray, and I know those prayers will be answered. Eventually.

1,000 Lights

As the year is quickly coming to an end, all I can think of that would make a perfect ending is love. Love, as in the kind a woman gives a man and a man gives a woman. I'm not saying I'll be in love before the new year, but getting a potential candidate for love would be nice. The one who steals glances from across the room. Or smiles as we cross paths. That divorced father of 3 who consumes my thoughts even when I barely know him.

Wow! I didn't see that one coming! A divorced father of 3. It would have been hypocritical of me to say I don't want to date a guy with kids, when hello, I have one. But 3! That can be very daunting when I only have one. However, I found myself unphased by that fact. I find his kids beautifully charming, and they seem to adore their dad. And he reciprocates that adoration.

I haven't told many people about him. Let me rephrase that, I haven't told many people about my feelings for him. These...these feelings I don't understand. These feelings that bring back so much hurt I thought had healed a long time ago. They have taken me on an emotional roller coaster already and I haven't even gotten a first date...yet. I am optimistic. I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in love at first sight. As I wrote in a piece of poetry many years ago: I believe that love at first sight only happens once, if it's lucky enough to find me.

Has that time come?

I asked God that question this morning at church as I watched him take communion with his kids. He knelt at the altar rail with his youngest daughter the same way I kneel with Isabella. She stands against the rail as he knelt behind her, knees barely on the step, with one arm on either side of her. After they get their bread and their wine they head back to their seats, then it's my turn, and I just happen to take the space at the rail they had just vacated. That really doesn't bare any significance to my tale, so moving on...

I should tell you about how we "officially" met. I have to give full credit to my beautiful 2 year old. She stays in the nursery the whole service, so after it was over I went to get her, and as we are walking back in the other building, he is standing just inside the door with his kids. Isabella goes running into the middle of them. I smile at him and grab her hand to get her a cookie off the snack table. She gets her cookie and goes running right back into the middle of them. She munches her cookie as she goes one way and then rounds back and nearly smacks face first into his son. As they stand toe to toe not sure what to do, he leans over and says how it's all about the snacks for the kids. We said a few more things before I stuck my hand out and said, "I'm Teri, by the way. I don't believe we've ever met." There was something very comfortable in that gesture.

Isabella had climbed up at the end of the pew where his kids were sitting. Seeing the 4 of them sitting there felt...right. Just amazing. It was a sight I never thought I would feel so...
...shoot, I still can't think of a good word.

I titled this blog entry 1,000 Lights after a Javier Colon song because that song just makes me completely think about him and seems to explain how I feel.

There's a light there's a road that we're walking.
Different paths to the point where they're crossing.
With each step is one step closer to you.
As the sun says goodbye in the distance.
1,000 lights light the sky like they missed us
But each one is lighting my way to you.

This love, it's taking me over
It's making me feel something that
I don't understand.
This heart it couldn't beat any faster
Tonight a thousand lights,
they shine, shine for us.

Anywho, Now that I have bored y'all enough, I think it's time for this girl to go. Until my next adventure...

God's Peace.